The following behaviors may have nothing to do with whether or not your partner loves you.
He or she may have many good reasons for behaving in these ways, reasons that have nothing to do with whether or not your partner cares about you. Imagine saying these things to your partner: Do you move into some form of control when your expectations are not met? The wounded self is the part of us that operates under the false belief that we can control how others feel about us. We have each learned both overt and covert ways of trying to have this control, and we spend much energy trying to get others to love us and care for us, instead of spending that same energy in learning to love and care for ourselves.
Our wounded self falsely believes that our feelings of worth and self-esteem come from others loving us, rather than from connecting with a spiritual source of unconditional love and bringing that love to ourselves. As you read over this list of some of the ways we control, be gentle with yourself rather than judgmental.
All of us have learned to be controlling and all of us have the choice to be compassionate with ourselves so we can learn, rather than judge ourselves, which cuts off our learning. Often we try to control others in the ways our parents tried to control us or each other, or in ways we learned in childhood from other children or from TV. Until you learn to connect with your higher self and give to yourself what you are trying to get from others, you may continue to try to control others in many different ways.
A Powerful Process to Connect with the Divine. Whether you think of God as a nebulous entity who exists only for other people, or you are a religious person. This classic text for couples interested in creating freer, more joyful, and profoundly intimate relationships explores the delicate balance of being true to oneself.
What are the results for yourself and your relationship of trying to control when your expectations are not met? Our controlling behavior eventually results in creating whatever it is we are trying to prevent.
She claimed that she just did not know how to take care of herself. What do you think this is about? I know that God is love, but I guess I don't actually believe that when it comes to me. You have projected your parents onto God? I think that is exactly what I do! I don't want to hear what God has to say to me because I think that God is going to judge and control me like my parents did.
I'm very sensitive to anyone judging me and trying to control me. I think this is the biggest issue I have that with Mark her husband.
I get angry or just vanish if I think he is the least bit judgmental or controlling. There is no loving adult self on board.
I want to respond as a loving adult. But you are completely resistant to opening to God for fear of being controlled by God, which makes it impossible to know how to be a loving adult for your inner child.
This is what is keeping you stuck in your healing process. You cannot open to God until you are willing to experience the truth about God.
I know that this is very challenging given your experience of your parents, yet unless you are willing to open and learn the truth about God, you have no way of developing your loving adult self. It took much courage and practice for Anne to establish a two-way communication with God. Through diligent practice, her experience of God gradually changed and she was finally able to access the information regarding the loving actions in behalf of herself.
Not only did her relationship with her husband improve, but her lifelong sadness and anger gradually diminished. Start learning to love yourself with our free Inner Bonding eCourse at http: