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And, provided I don't die anytime soon, I should also be her last. Even if I do die sometime soon, I think she should be in mourning until she's eighty, and then she can have a gentleman friend who brings her a root beer and a crossword on Sunday afternoons, but that's it. The only thing I can't ever be is her first. Not her first lay, and not her first love. I guess I could be her "first husband," but I'd rather not be that. Just plain "husband" is how I'd like to stay. Not that it's important to be first.
Taylor do to kind of, you know, get you back again? I'm approaching another light, and it's about to turn red, so I put my foot down hard against the pedal and just gun it. The problem with three glasses of wine is that it makes Tami want a fourth.
She can stop just fine after two. It's that third one that tips the scales.
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That's why she's opened a bottle of Pinot Grigio by the time I get home, and she's sipping and smiling away when I slam the front door. I toss my keys on top of the coffee table. No, I don't toss them, I chuck them. I'm still irritated she made me drive the babysitter home. She gives me her w ell-boo-hoo-poor-Eric look. I bend down and kiss her on the cheek, because we agreed to never let the sun go down upon our wrath. I think that Bible verse was on the wedding invitations. Not really, but it could have been. We'd already had enough fights by then.
I turn and take two steps from the couch, but then I turn back. That's more points on my license, so it's going to be suspended for a bit. You'll have to drive me to work for the next six months. And you'll have to take home all the babysitters. Hope that wine was worth it. As I'm disappearing down the hallway, her voice trails after me, "I guess this means you don't want sex tonight! I stop with my hand on the bedroom door. I jog backward to the living room and then turn. Then she raises her wine glass and half shouts, half sings, "I've got the power! She's got that power too. Sometimes she makes me laugh and I don't even know why I'm laughing.
I am more than happy to accommodate her. She's laughing when I swing her over my shoulder, and pretty soon I'm laughing too, but I'm trying to shush her at the same time, because this isn't going to happen if Gracie wakes up. I manage to get her to the bedroom, and I get us both undressed, because she's not much help.
We then proceed to have mediocre sex, which is the only kind of sex we can have when one or both of us is drunk, but she's just drunk enough that maybe she'll remember it as the best she's ever had.
From my perspective, it's not half bad. I guess it's like the glass - either half empty or half full depending on whether you're an optimist or a pessimist.
Tami says I'm a pessimist. I don't think so. In general, I think I'm a realist and she's an idealist. But when it comes to sex, we both know I'm an eternal optimist. Half bad's always half good and half good's pretty damn satisfying in my book. But the thing that's most satisfying is the way she laughs when it's over, and cuddles up close, and kisses my nose, and says, "Damn I love you, Eric Taylor," and closes her eyes, and drifts off to sleep, without ever once asking how much the ticket's going to cost.
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