I truly appreciate the book opening my eyes to a few of these things. Now women are taking a step from an urban household, out into the working world, and have no such assistance from men at home. This particular form of balancing involves a woman making more than a man, or having a more important role at work, and then coming home and having to take on more of the role of housewife to make her man feel more 'masculine'.
So NOW she not only is the primary household earner, but to protect our horribly, insanely, fragile male ego, has to do more at home to make us feel better. Ugh, I have never been more happy to be less 'masculine'. Primarily this book made me think.
And isn't that what all books should do? I am truly a better person for having read this book. I will be more apt to see if I am slacking around the house, with future children, etc. I had a few blinders pulled from around my eyes as to the familial life that many couples must endure. I am that much more secure in my own skin for realizing my brand of masculinity fits me and my marriage perfectly. I am that much more indebted to and in love with my wife. Nov 01, Penney rated it really liked it Shelves: Because running a household is work, and like any good business, the load must be negotiated and shared.
It changed my world. Have you ever wondered why women send all the family Christmas cards and buy the birthday presents? Why Pinterest is angled at weddings and hairstyle and entertaining children? As Hochschild points out through her work with couples and families, if you add the time it takes to do a paid job plus housework and childcare, women work roughly 15 hours longer each week than men. Over a year, they work an extra month of 24 hour days. Read this when you set up a joint household. He does no cooking, no washing, no anything else.
How do I feel? If our marriage ends, it will be on this issue. Apr 30, Christine rated it really liked it. There is good news and bad news: The bad news is that women get the shaft, big time. The good news is that most of us are in the same boat. I can't speak for everyone, but I know many women in my generation are told they can be anything they want, they can have kids and a career and do it all, right? It is a tragedy that women are not told the other half of the story - that they are capable of doing anything There is good news and bad news: It is a tragedy that women are not told the other half of the story - that they are capable of doing anything but likely will not be supported by their spouses, will not be in fair relationships and, that often their desires will take a backseat in a relationship while BOTH sexes will make excuses to justify it.
This book is half nothing new, and half shocking I mean, we all know women are flexible and that they do most of the work at home, regardless if they work or not. But putting numbers and statistics on it will depress you to a new level. Women working an extra month a year? Perhaps the most shocking thing to me is that typically when men are given an ultimatum, to pitch in more at home on the "second shift" or be divorced, they simply choose not to change and to proceed with divorce. Other men make judgment calls with how supportive they are with their wives: I now understand how society and the workplace has been set up for male success, not family success.
I'd love to know what more men think about this book A few years ago, I told a girlfriend of mine that the reason women didn't run the world is we get distracted by housework.
I was joking, but as it turns out, I wasn't too far from being right. Women work extra weeks a year compared to their husbands when it comes to domestic and family care, and when pushed, men often avoid the work entirely beds don't need made, hire a maid, etc. Hochschild's book offers fantastic insight into this imbalance and its many forms; I'd highly recommend A few years ago, I told a girlfriend of mine that the reason women didn't run the world is we get distracted by housework. Hochschild's book offers fantastic insight into this imbalance and its many forms; I'd highly recommend it.
From a purely intellectual perspective, it's fascinating and digestible by a lay person it also made me want to read more sociology books. From a personal perspective, it spoke to some things very close to me and gave words and concepts to thoughts and feelings I'd only loosely grasped before: My only disappointment was that only heterosexual couples with children were included in the study. I'm actually writing a letter to the author I'm THAT nerdy asking if there are similar studies of dual-career couples without children and research on same-sex, dual-career couples with children.
I'm curious about how the second shift would be balanced in these cases and how gender strategies play out in the latter scenario. What I took away from this work—particularly in light of some conversations I've heard in the news lately—is that balancing career and family cannot be a "women's problem.
The question isn't how women can balance work and motherhood. The question should be how can everyone do good work and nurture healthy families? OK, I'll admit that I've cited Arlie Horschild's work in this book without having ever read it until now. I was impressed at how this research, in which she presents the observations of 10 of the couples she and her colleague studied for years in the s, remains so relevant to this day.
Honestly, though this book is a sociological work, I think almost anyone could get something out of it. The book takes a look at the politics of household work -- from gender ideologies to family myth-making - OK, I'll admit that I've cited Arlie Horschild's work in this book without having ever read it until now. The book takes a look at the politics of household work -- from gender ideologies to family myth-making -- and resonated with me. All too often, I think couples think that household responsibilities are too unimportant to spend much time or energy thinking about, but as Horschild points out, we're in the midst of a dramatic change in the way families economics are structured and the resentment of both men and women isn't insignificant.
She also points out that something has to give: In short, Hochschild pretty much determines that you cannot, in fact, have it all. She points out that almost every family that thinks they are splitting the work equally in fact is not. She also points out that those with more traditional gender ideologies actually tend to do a better job of splitting the chores, if only because they have little economic choice than to have the woman work as much as possible.
I'd say women should read the book, but frankly, it'd be great to see men read it too. Mar 12, Heather rated it really liked it Shelves: I found this book about working women and the division of labor in the home to be really fascinating. It was first published in , so the families she follows are right in the middle of my parents and me as far as stage of life.
I thought Hochschild created a useful construct in the "family myth," the stories people told themselves to make their situations palatable when they diverged from their expectations. Since the book was first published, it seems like men are generally becoming more in I found this book about working women and the division of labor in the home to be really fascinating.
Since the book was first published, it seems like men are generally becoming more involved in sharing the household and childcare duties, although there continues to be a heavier weight on women. Hopefully that trend will keep heading towards equity.
I don't see as much improvement in the more systemic issues like childcare, family friendly workplaces, paid leave, and so on. I think there's a bit more flexibility on the higher end of the income scale with telecommuting and benefits, but unfortunately, it's on the lower end of the wage scale where it's needed most and is still lacking. We still don't recognize child care and elder care as being worthy of pay, and maybe that should change, too. Lots of great insight into what makes marriages happy or unhappy, too. Jul 06, Carli rated it really liked it Shelves: This book is the landmark study from the s and 80s that explored the realities of two-income families and how they navigate domestic roles in the household, namely housework and child rearing.
Arlie Hochschild writes from a feminist point of view b This book is the landmark study from the s and 80s that explored the realities of two-income families and how they navigate domestic roles in the household, namely housework and child rearing. Arlie Hochschild writes from a feminist point of view but her perspective is highly NON judgemental. This is no fiery feminist polemic, just a realistic slice-of-life look at the lives of two-income couples twenty-odd years ago.
Don't let the date fool you- this issues still exist for couples on a grand scale today. Hochschild has often collaborated with Barbara Ehrenreich, author of Nickel and Dimed, so if you are familiar with the one, you'll likely be interested in the other. A pesar de ser escrito en los 80, el tema y su abordaje son de completa actualidad. Jul 26, Matthew Squire rated it did not like it. Second shift looks at women as an entire class using loosely tied together statistics.
While at the same time discusses men in stereotypical tropes. You won't find many bad reviews of this book because very few people other than hardcore feminists and sociologists bother to read it. The book was written in the 's and the ideas are just as outdated second waver bullshit. Apr 06, Bonnie G. Just re-read this book and man is it still way too relevant Guys, wash the dishes. Nov 16, Kelly Diels rated it really liked it. It's super helpful to ground feminist analysis in personal stories -- it makes the scholarship more immediate, tangible and accessible -- and this book does that.
And as it does, Hochschild keeps pointing our attention back to what's shaping these couples' experience: In other Essential reading. The result, beyond exhaustion, injustice, and real suffering for parents and kids is that women don't have "the luxury" of unequivocal love for their partners. In several case studies and her analysis, Hochschild points out that the women in many of these unions are ambivalent. They simultaneously love their husbands and resent the hell out of them. Often that resentment poisons the well.
In my circles, to address this collective problem of female resentment, here's what I could see happening: There would be shadow work inquiring into the interior story of resentment. There would be mindset work reframing and banishing resentment. There would be 5-day challenges to let go of resentment and dwell in gratitude so as to improve your wellbeing and mental health.
Most of the women in this book choose their marriage. Because of that, I resolved never to critique for the sake of critique or to find fault for the sake of looking sophisticated and smart. I was born in , my parents were the couples in this book, and I see in them some of the choices they made and didn't make. The stories how working couples with kids share housework are captivating in themselves, but it is the lenses which the author uses to look at the distribution of work that is very, very interesting. You also may like to try some of these bookshops , which may or may not sell this item. There's little discussion on the part that men play in this or how we could best work together to find a balance between family duties, career duties, and personal needs, not just for women, but for all members of dual-income families. She is a professor of sociology at the University of California, Berkeley.
Which is why I love this book so much: It doesn't put the burden or the shame on women for having to cope with marriages, families, workplaces and lives shaped by never-ending inequity and exhaustion. Because the truth is, we can't solve collective problems with individual coping mechanisms. Often we don't need self help; we need legislation and cultural and corporate norm-shifting. A long time ago, I wrote a critical review of a book that, in truth, I wholeheartedly, unequivocally enjoyed.
I was trying to prove myself in the cultural arena; I somehow believed that to be unabashedly enthusiastic about a text -- even when it deserved it!! And so I found fault. And it wasn't right. No one said boo to me about it but my conscience knows. I'm still pained by it. Because of that, I resolved never to critique for the sake of critique or to find fault for the sake of looking sophisticated and smart. All of is to say: I don't have a lot to quibble with in this book. It really is excellent. And so I don't offer the next criticism lightly. In this book, of the 10 couples interviewed, one is black; one is latinx; one is biracial.
While Hochschild specifically attends to the nuances of social location and identity in her analysis, I did wish for more stories from the lives of couples like this. I also wondered what a companion to this book would like like, featuring the gender strategies of queer and gay couples. But, I suppose, that was not this book.
A book can't be all things. And what Hochschild sets out to do, she does really, really well. And that helps relocate the shame, which in turn create possibilities for effective action -- you know, the kind that addresses the real causes of our suffering rather than proposing self-help placebos for mediating or coping with an unjust status quo.
Sep 12, Zachary Jacobi rated it it was amazing Shelves: Fascinating book about housework is divided or isn't.
Interesting things I learned: But traditional men are the next best. Many wealthy people enjoy their jobs much more than chores and will prefer to work late over doing chores if given the choice. This isn't fair to their partners. It's really important to understand what your partner wants you to be grateful for and be grateful for that — or to help them change their expectations.
Many men seem to want their partner to be grateful for the long hours they work and the money that brings, whereas their partners would prefer they work less, help out more, and be more emotionally available. When the "economy of gratitude" doesn't work right, divorce seems very common. Oct 20, Elizabeth Moreau Nicolai rated it it was amazing Shelves: I've been meaning to read this book forever and I am so glad it was feminist book club pick during the last month of my maternity leave with my second child.
As the book repeatedly says the first child is a challenge, the second is a crisis. It was hard to discuss this book on a societal level because it seems so personal. I was born in , my parents were the couples in this book, and I see in them some of the choices they made and didn't make. And now a generation later, we are both farther I've been meaning to read this book forever and I am so glad it was feminist book club pick during the last month of my maternity leave with my second child.
And now a generation later, we are both farther and still fighting some of these same battles. More men seem to take for granted that they will share the second shift, though not always equitably.
However we still lack family friendly policies that would really help working parents. A group of 80s babies had a ton to discuss when we read together this book as we start to have our own babies. Everyone should read this. This book does not really need my review but here we go. Researched in the s, it focuses on dual-income couples coming from different cultural and socio-economic backgrounds. As more and more women have entered the workforce, a similar question started to arise in households: Who is to take care of the household and children, aka the second shift, from now on?
Each couple discussed at great length in the study has their unique ways of dealing with the demands of the second shift based on the This book does not really need my review but here we go. Each couple discussed at great length in the study has their unique ways of dealing with the demands of the second shift based on their gender ideology, feelings and eventually their gender strategy.
Although this research is done in the 80s, it's astonishing to see how this same problem continues to wreck couples, relationships and eventually families in the 21st century. It's a must read. This book changed my life. It explained so much about my 20s. I bought my own after I finished my library copy and it is now festooned with page markers. Everyone should read this book, man, woman, young, old. But so few have. That's probably why essentially nothing has changed since this book was first written 30 years ago.
The Second Shift: Working Families and the Revolution at Home [Arlie Hochschild, Anne Machung] on linawycatuzy.gq *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Editorial Reviews. About the Author. Arlie Russell Hochschild is the author of The Time Bind and most recently Global Woman, which she edited with Barbara.
I am seriously considering endowing copies to every student at my former all-girls school. No woman should get married without reading this and should not even consid This book changed my life. No woman should get married without reading this and should not even consider marrying or living with any man who won't read it and discuss it with them.
Aug 27, Stephanie rated it it was amazing Shelves: This book was on my to-read list. I could only find it as an ebook at the library. This book was eye-opening for me. The author discusses the history of how domestic work continues to lie in the realm of women and how this impacts families when both parents work. This book helped me understand how domestic work cooking, cleaning, caring for children has impacted our family and my own career.
Jun 12, Laurel L. Perez rated it really liked it. First published in , and the newest edition released in , this is an interesting study to say the least. Then set up a personal list of libraries from your profile page by clicking on your user name at the top right of any screen. You also may like to try some of these bookshops , which may or may not sell this item.
Separate different tags with a comma. To include a comma in your tag, surround the tag with double quotes. Skip to content Skip to search. Home This edition , English, Book edition: Physical Description xxv, p. Published New York, N. Check copyright status Cite this Title The second shift: Subjects Dual-career families -- United States.
Dual-career families -- United States -- Case studies. Sex role -- United States. Working mothers -- United States. Nancy and Evan Holt ch. Frank and Carmen Delacorte ch. Peter and Nina Tanagawa ch. Ann and Robert Myerson ch. Seth and Jessica Stein ch. Anita and Ray Judson ch. Greg and Carol Alston ch. Barbara and John Livingston ch. Pathways to the New Man ch. Strategies and Strains ch.